God I can't believe I haven't written on here for nearly two years now. I guess I never left, just became complacent browsing for ideas. So I'm at uni now, studying media production. Absolutely love it, I just wish I was more inspired. I think that's why I'm writing this, hoping it'll jolt some past creative mood.

This year hasn't really gotten off to a good start, my Grandad died a few days ago. I've been assigned a little task of creating a mini montage of him and my nan's photos (My nan died a few months ago too). It's really upsetting going through their pictures, looking at when they were literally a few years older than me, getting married and having fun. In some other way though it's nice to see them as different people to how you've always seen them. It's weird. I never really knew my nan had a quirky sense of style when she was younger. I'd have liked hanging out with her.

I was going to feature a load of photos that I liked, but after writing this, it doesn't really feel like that type of journal.

Okay, so at 8PM on sunday I started getting really bad pains in the right hand side of my chest, like cramps. So I left it for like 10 minutes. Then I threw up...a lot, and they got really bad - so I got my mum and we went upstairs. Threw up a lot again. So then it got even worse, like I could hardly breath because it hurt so much. So they phoned a GP to come - AN HOUR LATER he arrived, it was like 10PM by that time. So he checked me out-and he didn't know what was wrong - so he said I have to go to hospital. Bit of a problem, my parents had been drinking - so we had to go on this taxi who kept going "IF HE THROWS UP I'M GOING TO HAVE TO FINE YOU" - luckily I threw up in a bag. SO I GET TO HOSPITAL and they're like "we need a blood test" I was like NOOOOOOOO - that was an experience and a half. While I was still hyperventalating they put it in my arm - one thing I vowed never to have done. So it's in and they're line NO BLOOD IS COMING OUT, WE'LL DO ANOTHER ONE. So I then have to have one just below my arm on the upper side which was horrible. BUT THEN they gave me some anti-nausea injection..WOW. I've never been stoned but I'm assuming that's what it's like. I kept looking at my hands and the curtains kept moving all funny, I want more of that injection . But then I had to have an injection in my bum to stop the pain which wasn't as nice - but it did stop the pain. BUT THEN they're like "Okay, so you have a pneumothorax - which basically means that because you're growing your chest has grown, and your lungs were catching up. But because of that they became weak, and one of them got a hole in which caused it to deflate - WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DRAIN IT" I was like ..WOT. So they had to insert a tube into the side of my chest while I was still awake. I couldn't feel any pain, but I could feel it going into me, and I could feel it touching inside. The tube was attatched to a bucket of water, and when I breathed the water went up and down - and if I took a deep breath it bubbled. So then I had to spend the night in that ward, and in the afternoon the next day I got moved to a high observation ward - which was rather noice and roomy - but I had 3 other patients in the same room. So first on my left I had an obese woman, she was quite friendly but she was fat...so..you know. And then opposite me I had this man who didn't really talk or move much, but looked at me an awful lot. Okay the main thing, opposite me to the left was this girl called Laura. She was MASSIVE. She looked really bloated, and sounded like she was constantly on helium, and I'm assuming she was a bit slow because she always used to watch the Aristocats and read out what she was reading or playing - dispite the fact she's 17. So at night I couldn't sleep because this Laura spent about 2-4 hours a night (I'm not even lying) going "I'VE WET MYSELF - SOMEONE CLEAN ME" "MUMMY *SCREAMS* MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY". One night at 4AM they actually had to call her mum to come in just to make her to stop shouting. But my bed had some cuet robotic arm TV which had internet access, which sucked tbh because you can't type well, and it's really slow. TV was just as bad, it had all of the rubbish channels like ITV3+4. But I'm out now so YAY.[/endoflongstory]

Okay, I watched Jacob's Ladder yesterday - I've been wanting to watch it for AGES, since I started liking Silent Hill - because the game was heavily inspired by the movie.

So I watch it....

WTF - IT WAS BORING

There was like...two and a half decent scenes in it, the rest were so boring. Sure, it was clever...I think, but jeeze the ending makes you think - what was the point in that movie? I guess that's what you get for having a hybrid of genres.

I think I want to restyle my journal - I don't know what to though